reminder

this is a note
that I will revisit 
on a day that I need reminding 

this is a vow 
to always find pockets of freedom 
within boundaries 
(even if I have to create them myself) 

this is a pledge
to sing loudly when there's silence 
and softly where there's noise 
(but to always have a melody within)

this is a promise 
that I will always find hope 
in every dancing autumn leaf
(even when it settles on wet ground)

this is a resolution
to unhesitatingly seek the warmth of family and friends
and offer as much of myself as I can 
(but also without depleting my resources) 

this is a pledge
to read and write and laugh and
make new friends and keep moving on 
(even on, especially on, days that tell me otherwise)  

and when I read this one day
I'll know that I was wise
to have written this note

to remind me that I've crafted
a rich, authentic, abundant life 
with intent. 

give it to me

give me your pain 

let me carry it for you 

I am not suffering 

but you are 

give me your pain 

I know it is not mine to carry 

but please

let me help

joy

song in my body

spring in my step

heart so full

it's going to explode

in this moment

life is worth living 

swim

i like many things about swimming 

but what i like best 

is finding weightlessness 

i'm buoyant  

unburdened by my own thoughts 

unbothered by what the world wants from me 

watch me

​I'm going to do it

I'm going to do it all

I'm going to have it all 

Don't ask me to slow down

I'm hurtling forward at top speed 

return

​I want nothing in return

for loving you

I watch you
smile and laugh
live your life
with so much joy
I don't mind if I'm not in it

all of me

if i could 

i would sit down with you 

in a quiet corner  

and hold your hands in mine 

and in that slot of time 

i would give you 

all of me 

later, we will forget and move on 

life will take over

we will get busy

but one day you will remember

that you and i sat down 

in a quiet corner 

and shared this moment 

one day you had 

all of me

you're okay

you're okay, they said 

you're doing fine

you're doing great

and she died while

crying out that she wasn't 

verdict

you wronged me and i apologized

you hit your head against the wall and i assumed  i hurt you 

you cut me off and i blamed myself

you, and you, and you, all of you.  

i must have been crazy to have 

taken on your share for so long

i've redeemed myself now

i pronounce myself not guilty

walk

bare feet sink into mud

as i walk on wet soil 

my toes curl around leaves

of jagged edges and velvety surfaces

i walk in solitude

i walk in silence

i walk to remain suspended 

in thoughtlessness

i walk through hours 

of light and dark 

i walk in desperation 

i walk for space, i walk for time

i walk for relief, 
i walk to feel a little numb
i walk even though
my skin is blistered and bleeding 

i surrender 

to the rhythm of my feet 

as they carve out lines

on a map that only i know 

i keep going, 

steady, sane, sound 

on a ground
that features madmen and gone-too-soons. 

friend

you call me your friend
and my heart bursts with joy 
at knowing that, across the ocean 
i've got a hand to hold 

kind

your words, gentle
moving carefully,
avoiding everything
you know i don't want to talk about

you find the safe zones
you hold and respect my silence 
and i want to let you in 

as my words find yours
within all the lines we've drawn
you have my full, honest story 

redefining home

I love this street one that I've called home for twenty three years I've watched the mango and neem trees grow and welcome monkeys, bats and cicadas

I wake up to the call of a purple sunbird

I listen to the song of a grey-bellied cuckoo

in the afternoon, a hornbill's screech surprises us all

while a black kite soars in the sky

there's a tailorbird in the coconut tree

invisible, but it makes itself known today is a good day for

a duet with a chirping squirrel

in the evening, when the wind blows

stray gulmohar flowers and

white jasmine cover the ground

as do the seeds of the copperpod tree

oh, how I love that street

and how well I know it

and its inhabitants, including

hesitant shrews and nocturnal frogs

but far away, in another country

I am getting to know a new street I am learning its secrets and surprises

and the life it holds

here, I wake up to the call of the blackbird

and the twittering of robins

I watch magpies hop on the ground

and sparrowhawks circle above

the sweet smell of jasmine

is now replaced with the strong scent of hyacinths

the tabebuia and jacaranda trees

are recoloured in magnolia and cherry blossom

everything that I defined as home

the soundscapes, the enchantment, the familiarity

have now taken on a new meaning

and my boundaries have expanded

I find myself falling in love

unexpectedly and a little hesitantly looking for signs that will one day

spell a new nostalgia

home is a funny thing

it can be here

but it can also be

five thousand miles away

episode

in a moment

everything is lost 

i tremble and shake 

a plate breaks into pieces 

a head bangs against a wall 

tears roll down like rivers 

the walls cave around me

i squirm and howl  

i am never enough

inexhaustible

what a layered personality you are 

peel peel peel

and there's something new on offer 

you're inexhaustible 

show me more 

Nothing

days strung together

tightly, like nylon on a guitar 

fingers strumming 

fret after fret 

slightly out of tune 

time goes by 

fingers drumming 

on a table, waiting 

for another moment to go by 

another insignificant nothing 

an open window 

a bee buzzing

drawing zigzag patterns  

seeking sweet, sweet nectar 

but this room is empty 

 

a humid evening

​dragonflies humming 

the air heavy, holding back  

promises of something 

that's not going to happen today 

a sky full of stars

a cricket chirping  

smoke rises in circles  

fading into the darkness 

that was today 

confession

this is my confession to you 

of how much of you 

i love and admire 

i want so much of you 

but i only want that
which nobody else has 

and me wanting that 

will ruin

what we have now 

trapped

trapped by boundaries 

trapped because you're limited

trapped because you're only 

something in a container

trapped because you don't matter 

in the enormity of the universe 

trapped because you're an inconsequential speck

hardly capable of moving mountains

trapped by restlessness

a desperate, wanting, 

fiery, seeking soul

stifled inside your body 

 

but wait oh look 

a window of escape

a train ticket, an open field 

a dog licking your face

a tiny hand in yours

a note of appreciation

a winding road through 

that unbudging mountain

a warm embrace

a snail on a leaf 

a changing season

something beautiful, beyond reason

trapped between the 

beginning and the end

trapped by the fact that

this is all we know

who knows what's gone before 

and what will come after 

maybe this is our shot at freedom

keepsake

​let me not deny myself

​o​f what I feel for you

​l​et me feel the agony

​o​f wanting what i can't have

​s​o that tomorrow ​
​when ​i​ get over this

​i​ will remember what it was like

​t​o be so in love with you 

aging

​i don't want to be younger

i don't wish to turn back time 

look how far i've come 

i've grown so much 

​i'm wiser, i'm sillier ​

​i​t's okay either way

i don't want to be a child,
​i don't want to be a number

i'm happy where i am 

a point in the journey 

​of unspecified duration